You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
