After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
