note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
