I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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