I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
