tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
should my penis look like a turkey
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He has the fingertips of a God
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