i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
