Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He felt like a one man threesome
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
When are your genitals available?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize