maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
