ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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