Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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