some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Too much gin, very little bucket
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
