Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize