so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
