Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
