ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
