i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
