i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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