She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
