woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
