No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
