I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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