just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize