i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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