why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
