You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
