yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
