oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
how drunk are you?
Several
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
