FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
