I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My vagina is officially offended.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
