we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
