It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
