So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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