and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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