I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
