Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
