I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Congratulations! We have a period
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
