So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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