Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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