Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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