It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
