i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
No I am not eating basil off your cock
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
