I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
