Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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