I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize