Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
