Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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