I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
