Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
