Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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