I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
