my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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