my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
