think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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