i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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