think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize