You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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