We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
