a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
