My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
