Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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