We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
