Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
