Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My friends, they love my intelligence
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
