...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
