No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
