***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Fuck appropriateness.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
