Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I have aggressive nipples.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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