goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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