Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
