Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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