i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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