ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
