Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
