I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
