remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
